At times when the world feels particularly difficult and we're overwhelmed with feelings – rage, despair, sorrow, helplessness – it can be challenging to keep putting our words on the page.
And yet, it's often at precisely these moments that we most need to make our voices heard, or to turn to our writing practice to bolster our strength and soothe our anxiety.
Here are three ways that we can support ourselves and one another, with tenderness and care, so that we can keep writing.
1. Go gently and with self-compassion.
For most of us, gentleness and self-compassion are not habits that come naturally. Many people I’ve worked with over the years have asked: How do I do this? I honestly don’t know where to start?
Perhaps you're all too familiar with that inner critic, the bully inside your head that snarls insults, whenever you pick up a pen. Perhaps we don’t really know what gentleness sounds like. To make matters worse, sometimes we worry that, if we 'go easy on ourselves,' we’ll end up in a wobbly mess, miss our deadline, let other people down.
The good news is that gentleness towards ourselves is something that we can learn. This is what the queen of self-compassion, Dr Kristin Neff, has to say:
‘It’s helpful to distinguish between harsh judgement and discriminating wisdom. Harsh judgement involves a narrow, rigid labelling of ourselves as “good” or “bad.” Discriminating wisdom identifies what’s working and what isn’t, what’s healthy or harmful, but does so in full knowledge of the complex, dynamic factors influencing the situation. We can still judge our performance or achievements as good or bad without taking things personally. Just because I failed in this last go-around doesn’t mean that I’m destined to fail again or that I am somehow “a failure.” By framing our experience in the larger context of what it means to be human, we gain the insight needed to learn and grow.’
- Kristin Neff. (2021). Fierce Self-Compassion. p.196
2. Surround yourself with things that comfort, support or uplift you.
I love what poet, memoirist and teacher Maggie Smith writes this week: ‘Sometimes a poem is the stone you carry in your pocket—the one you rub when you’re worried. Let’s fill our pockets with poems.’
What poems or paragraphs or stories or pieces of music can you carry in your pocket to fortify you?
Learn them by heart. Write them out on postcards and send them to the people you care about. Pin them above your desk.
3. Rhythmic writing
You might like to experiment with my spiral writing practice spiral, which has comforted me through some difficult times. You can find out more about this practice here.
Begin in the middle of the page and keep writing outwards, focusing on your breathing and the sound of the pen on the paper and allowing your hand to keep moving. You can place anything in the centre of your page as a starting point: a word, an image, a special shell or pebble, a doodle.
I chose the image for the writing spiral at the top of this post to remind myself that, with a little tenderness, beauty and resilience can bloom even in the prickliest places.
Are you looking for support and community to nurture your writing and your life? I'd love to welcome you to WRITE! Club.
